The Outrage Machine, perhaps the best example of modern American craftsmanship there is, has really been churning along the past couple of years, and it’s been doing so, well past the red line.
Alas, it seems to be sputtering a bit, as the latest creation of said machine falls well short of what most people would generally consider plausible. Not that this matters in the least. Eh, read it for yourself.
Did you get all of that?
Woman denied boarding, but she wasn’t really denied boarding, and, well, I see what’s going on here. The Outrage Machine. Something’s
Continue reading Spotted: The Outrage Machine’s “Check Engine” Light
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If you want to know what the mainstream will be talking about tomorrow, listen to what I’m saying today.
What do I mean by this? I’ll tell you. The life cycle of a Seattle Rex position is roughly this:
Ignore it and pretend that it was never said Outrage, snark, and ridicule A quiet period, as the evidence of my correctness mounts, but where everyone waits for an “expert” or fashionable observer to confirm what I’ve always known. Acquiescence, where the mainstream finally adopts my opinion as its own,
Continue reading Mounting Proof That Ed Murray is Seattle’s Worst Mayor Ever
When one has lived a charmed life, it can be difficult to imagine what it must be like to be tormented by mental illness. Add to this the fact that many mentally ill people are simply dumped onto the streets when they have no money, and it can be downright impossible to relate to the people who have experienced this pain and suffering firsthand. After all, when we don’t “feel emotionally secure” in a private, locked toilet stall … a national crisis is declared, legislation is passed, and social media erupts with sympathy for us and shame for anyone
Continue reading Reality Check
Twice, once in 2008, and again in 2012, the Mayor of Seattle (and nearly all of those Seattleites who call themselves “progressive”), voted for a man, the President of the United States, who was publicly, and rather strongly, against gay marriage.
Not more than two years later, the very same Mayor boycotted the working-class people of Indiana for holding the exact same position as a man he voted for to become President.
Last year, several high-profile individuals lost their jobs when it was revealed that they were against gay marriage in their private lives. Once again, these people maintained
Continue reading Hypocrite
Since about 11:00 today, a man has been sitting near the top of the Macy’s Giant Sequoia at 4th and Stewart/Olive.
For the majority of the day, helicopters have been hovering overhead, and dozens of police officers with assault-rifles have been standing at the base of the tree.
For a man in a tree.
Allow me to repeat …
For a man in a tree.
For a man in a tree.
As you might expect, this spectacle has drawn a fair number of onlookers, as well it’s cost the city a small fortune in “law
Continue reading Sequoia Sitta
I made a resolution at the beginning of 2016. I decided to make an effort, a real effort, to just ignore the insanity around me. After all, what can I do? What can one person do when the masses have collectively gone insane? What can you do when tens of thousands of people around you start saying provably irrational things? Things like “gender is 100% determined by society, and has no basis whatsoever in biology”?
“What about chromosomes?”, you wonder, “I thought chromosomes determined ones gender? I thought XX equaled female and XY equaled male? How does society determine
Continue reading Dude Looks Like a ………… Dude?
I’m an avid reader of local meteorologist Cliff Mass’ Blog. It’s an interesting mixture of weather information and brothel reviews which I find both fascinating and arousing.
Upon checking out Cliff’s place today, I learned something new. I learned that happy endings have returned to local massage parlors. Yay! I also learned that this past winter was the wettest winter on record in Seattle.
No, really, I’m not kidding. This past October – February was the wettest on record. This means that every winter people have whined about up until now, have all had less rain than this
Continue reading Blame it on the Rain
In related news, a new shocking report has been released which finds that grass is green and, oh yes, apparently the sky is blue as well.
In explaining our rating, the report above makes a few observations, which you have to read between the lines to understand (it’s wrapped in advertiser-friendly explanations about weather and density).
What they actually say is that our poor drivers are the result of a high influx of transplants from fair-weather Podunkville , who are used to suburban/rural roads and clear, sunny weather. It notes that these people are far out of their element,
Continue reading The Most Un-Surprising Report Ever Issued
I’m going to let you all in on a little something: People cannot change their gender. No, it’s true, they can’t. At least not without killing themselves.
I know, I know, this news will really piss some of you off, but don’t shoot the messenger for I didn’t make it so.
See, gender is determined by chromosomes. If you have Y chromosomes, you’re a male, otherwise, you’re a female. You can pump yourself full of hormones, change the tone of your voice, grow your hair long, get the best fake knockers that money can buy, and chop off your wang
Continue reading Biting the Hand
For the second year in a row, overwhelmingly affluent, overwhelmingly white, overwhelmingly ex-suburban, overwhelmingly gentrifying people are threatening to ruin the Westlake tree lighting ceremony. It’s a ceremony that many kids in the city look forward to every year.
Why, do they protest this event, you may ask?
Alas, the reason is fairly obvious. As an event with a large middle and working-class attendance, disrupting it keeps the protestors far away from the ruling-class and political elite, and thus, overwhelmingly safe. It also keeps it vague, which unfortunately, is the point.
Hey, BLM folks, let me ask you
Continue reading A Coward’s Christmas Carol